Do you ever feel nostalgic while looking at old pictures?
I often feel nostalgic as I look at old pictures. For some reason I feel sad as I look at them, and almost wish I could go back and relive the moments they have captured, no matter how happy I am today. Why is that? It's funny that I would feel that way about our engagement photos-- they mark a time when Josh and I were focused on the future, excited about the lifetime of possibilities ahead of us.
I often look forward to future times when my son will be crawling, walking, talking, going to school. I often think "I can't wait until Friday" or "Christmas is just months away" or "Someday when we buy a home..." instead of enjoying the day, the hour, the minute I am living.
Before I left for Peru, my cousin Michele told me to "cherish every moment" of my mission. I often remembered that advice while I served, but did I ever follow it? Did I really appreciate how wonderful that experience was as I lived it? In the blink of an eye, the 18 months ended and I was back home as if I'd never left.
Is that just the nature of who we are-- never quite living in the present? Always longing for the past or dreaming of the future? Will my life pass me by in the blink of an eye without me ever realizing what it is?
Why is it so hard to live for today?
I want to make sure that I enjoy every minute of nowness because once it's gone, it's gone, and then I will never be able to get it back. The good, the bad, the emotional, the trying, the anguished, the inspiring, the silly, the beautiful moment. At the most I will have a picture or a video or a song or a smell that tries to capture that moment in time, but never quite succeeds.
Tomorrow I will not be able to relive today-- and there I go thinking about tomorrow again.
1 day ago