Monday, December 21, 2009

Two?

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I'll spare you the details, but just know that it was rough, and I might cry again if I think too much about it (although crying seems to be normal for me these days, so that doesn't mean much).

It's funny because people keep asking me if I'm just ready for my baby to be here already, if I'm "making it" or "pulling through" or whatever else you're expected to be feeling two weeks before your baby is due and you are hugely pregnant.

Truth is, this baby isn't giving me any trouble. He never cries. I never have to change his diaper. I carry him and my hands are still free. I'm definitely making it and pulling through and all the rest because honestly, being pregnant seems like a piece of cake compared to what I am anticipating as a mother of two.

And although if you've talked to me lately you probably know that I have it all planned for my next little boy to be a perfect angel who does exactly what I say, immediately sleeps through the night, never cries, and lets me cuddle him whenever I want to-- I think things are going to get pretty crazy around here.

What's really been hard, and what will continue to be hard, is being a mommy to my sweet 20-month old, jr. At our worst moments, I think to myself, "Am I really ready to do this all over again? Will I be able to survive two crying babies?" Maybe I just don't have the patience all you other mothers out there have. Maybe I just wasn't cut out to be a supermom.

But really, how does anyone survive having more than one child???



P.S. And then I see jr.'s cute, smiling face and I think, "Yeah, I can do this. I think."

P.P.S. Yes, I know that so many people have way harder situations than I ever will, so I should be grateful and not complain.

P.P.P.S. Yes, those are packing peanuts, and yes, they are everywhere now.

P.P.P.P.S. Thanks to the Karolys for the gifts that came with the packing peanuts! I'm sure we will love them!

15 comments:

Nathan and Sarah said...

This is a hard age! (We just got done with a huge tantrum that included rolling around on the floor, screaming, kicking, hitting, etc.) I have no doubts that you will be able to do it! Not only will you be able to do it, but you will be great at it!

Camilla said...

All I know is that I am VERY impressed with you as a mother, Adele. In the past two months of getting to know our little peanut-nose, I have had a zillion moments when I thought, "Really?" "Me? "Am I really cut out for this?" and one of the things that comforts me the most is your example. I think, "I wonder what Adele would do in this situation," or "How did Adele approach this issue when she first encountered it?" You don't know how many times I have thought to myself "I need to call Adele and ask her what she thinks about this."
It's because I've seen you Delbers, with your little Juneybug, and I think you're a FANTASTIC mom! And this next little bean that is about to be born is the luckiest baby ever. Maybe you don't think you're cut out for it all sometimes, but just know that I think you're one of the most capable people I've ever met. Love you D-elbs!

Beth said...

After talking to a lot of my friends (who are moms) lately I am learning that every single one of them feels what you are describing. I admire you and I know you can do it! (I know, that really helps right?!) Let me know if you guys need anything after the new little guy arrives!!

Katie B said...

Honey, there's no such thing as supermom. Just do what you do best- love them with all your heart. Then you'll be super to them.

Kristen said...

Just so you know, I had nothing to do with the packing :) And I think that you are agreat mom and you will do well with two children. I hope to move out there next spring/summer so I can help you whenever I can. I'll even babysit so you and Josh can go on a date :)

Trent and Meg said...

Hey there friend--you are awesome!! Best of luck with this next little one...and (if it doesn't happen right away), Jr. will realize his best pal just came straight from heaven to be with him (and you guys of course). Hugs!!

Steph said...

Aw, you're going to be a great mom of 2! It will all work itself out and maybe Jr will be a great helpful and mellowed out big bro. He'll be the one showing the new little one the ropes and how to be quiet in Sacrament meeting ;) Can't wait to see how cute they are being bros together!

Erica said...

*oh-so-gigantic hug* You are a super star and a super mom.

Sami Dara said...

You will be amazing Adele. I use to think that before and even when I first had Marley. I would always remember that the Lord wouldn't give me a baby unless he knew I could handle it. And in your case two!

Linda said...

I agree with Katie B. There is no such thing as a Supermom. (even though there IS a Superjosh)

PS I Love You!
PPS Josh Loves You!
PPPS Josh Jr Loves You!
PPPPS New baby Karoly Loves You!
PPPPPS Dad Loves You!
PPPPPPS Everyone who knows you Loves You!
PPPPPPPS HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!
You are the VERY best Mother for YOUR children.

Erin R. said...

I totally, totally know how you feel. I was still having those feelings when I was in labor with David. I won't say that there aren't hard times. But looking at that sweet baby and seeing the older brother be sweet and loving to his new brother just melts your heart and confirms that you are where you need to be and you can do it!!

Ryan said...

Plus, remember how great Josh, Jr was with Diney? He will help out a ton and be really sweet with Jr Jr.

Plus, everyone in the blogosphere knows that the better posts you do, the more well-behaved your children are. So you're set.

NoSurfGirl said...

I think I know what you're feeling. I have this every time there's a new baby about to be born in our family. I suddenly realize that (Emma, or Ruth or Sam) aren't going to be my baby anymore, and it's really heartwrenching. I think I've cried, every time,too. And I will with Sam. He's been suuuuuch a wonderful little boy baby and I don't want to start treating him like an "older" sibling...I want him to be my baby forever, right now.

It all works out. It's all happy in the end. But this feeling is one of the more melancholy feelings I've experienced in parenting.
The nice thing is, as your family grows the feeling of "family" strengthens... complete with your own little subculture and feeling and traditions and way you relate to one another and show love for each other. It gets better after the first jarring difficulties of raising "more than one," and I think you're a great mom, too. Wish we could hang out more :)

Bill Karoly said...

Speaking from experience I can honestly say there is no way to predict the personality of the coming baby boy. I will tell you that Josh E will want to help when you least expect or want it. He will pick up the baby more than once trying to be helpful and scare the living heebeegeebee's out of you. Four words to live by, "This too will pass."

Andrea said...

I am a firm believer that parenting is a very difficult job, especially for those who absolutely love their children, as I know you do. I am wary of people who think it's easy to raise two small children at once. All you can do is take it a day at a time and make sure you get some YOU time. Don't feel bad asking your family and friends for a little relief, I know they'd all be happy to do so! Hang in there:)