Monday, January 24, 2011

Boots. Let's talk boots.

I went shopping for my first ever pair back in October. Heck, everyone was doing it. I just couldn't hold out anymore. I blame it on Utah weather. My motives were pure. Weren't they?

I soon realized that boots aren't just a style (or a good way to keep your feet dry), they are a way of life. I went from store to store, trying on boots, trying to stuff the bottom of my pants inside them, trying to zip the zipper over my calves. Yes, if you wear boots, you have to wear them over your pants. And if you wear them over your pants, your pants have to fit into them. It's skinny jeans all the way, baby, if you're going to do it right.

Now, just so you know, if you're a newcomer to bootage,
you'll also need to forget about most of your skirts
because they will probably look a little silly with boots.
No matter how you figure,
you're going to need a whole new wardrobe with your boots.
At the very least, you'll need a scarf and earrings to match.

Even amidst such adverse circumstances, and taking full responsibility for the consequences of my life-changing decision, I bought me a pair of boots.

Sometime thereafter, with my boots donned and my head held high, I strolled through a mall in Salt Lake City. I have always been obsessed with shoes, and naturally I found myself watching people's feet. More specifically, their boots.

And the number of feet in boots in that particular mall on that particular day was ridiculous. Boots boots boots. BOOTS. Little girls, teenagers, gals my age, and, yes, even some middle-aged ladies walking past me, self-consciously chattering away to each other with their wide-legged jeans stuffed into the top of their tight, high, very silly boots.

Suddenly, I was hit by the hilarity, the sheer absurdity of the fact that almost every female walking through the mall was wearing boots. It was like we were all in slow-mo, our boots hitting the floor and echoing in unison. Yes, some of the boots could have been useful in the case of snow or rain, but I wouldn't count on it. And I'm pretty sure it doesn't snow inside the mall.

From some kind of bird's-eye view we all looked ridiculous. All copying each other, all desperately hoping that we looked exactly like everyone else, but also that we stood out just a little bit because we looked so good.

At that moment I wanted to take off my boots and forget it all. I didn't, but I wanted to.

I remember painting my fingernails a puke-green color in high school and my dad telling me I looked just like all the girls at the school where he taught. I was a little offended. No, Dad, I'm being original. I came up with this cool fingernail color all on my own because I am unique. What do you know about it?

What will it be next year? Shoulder pads? And will I wear them? Probably.

(trying to decide if I look good or just plain silly)

P.S. My boots don't actually keep precipitation from soaking my feet. Time to go shopping again.

P.P.S. I know I'm probably not normal. Please don't get offended if you love boots. Please still be my friend.


The Gilberts said...

I actually hated boots, but I needed them for the snowy conditions. My shoes just wouldn't do the trick. BUT I have, however let them grow on me a little. I only have a brown pair, so I still feel like I need black so I can match ALL of my I totally understand the buy boots--get a new wardrobe thing! It's amazing how boots change everything ;)

Camilla said...

I have totally bought into the boots thing lately. I just HAVE to have them and I live in Phoenix for heaven's sake where there is NO argument to use about the snow or cold. I recently bought some sassy black boots (after looking at about every store in the world), and I heaved a sigh of relief and felt whole again. I took them home and tried them on with all my (skinny!) jeans and pants. They looked stupid. I tried really hard to convince myself that they didn't, I thought maybe I just needed to get used to them or something, but a few days ago I finally admitted that I just couldn't fool myself into thinking they worked. So I took them back (luckily I hadn't actually worn them out and they had all the tags attached). I got to thinking about why I suddenly like them (and skinny jeans) when a few years ago I was laughing at all the foolish people wearing them. I guess I just got worn down. Through over-exposure I got used to them and now people in boot-cut jeans and old school shoes get sympathy looks from me at the mall. Annoying, right? My new goal is to try to be less judgmental of other people's style choices, whether current or not.

(in the meantime, if you come across any cute black boots (I've been wearing my brown ones forever now) lemme know:)

Linda said...

I LOVE boots, but I can't wear them because I would never be able to find ANY that fit me, let alone that I could tuck my pants into.

When I lived in Provo (1977-1981) I wore boots. I REALLY enjoyed them. But NOBODY was wearing them with pants tucked in. We generally wore them with midcalf length dresses. Very cool! Yours are very cool too! Just pretend there's no fad.

Dahlia said...

LOL! I've only had two pairs of boots in 5 years and I still have them. They are either uncomfortable or don't keep water out any better than a sponge. Oh well, maybe I'll finally get a good ugly pair that actually feels good and also keeps the water out.

Jackie said...

This reminds me of a wedding shower I went to last year. For some reason, I had NO idea boots were the 'thing.' I felt terrible in my black flats. Sheesh, they were so yester-year.

I tried to find myself a pair of boots, but I refuse to be uncomfortable with yards (exaggerating) of fabric stuffed into them. To wear them inside of your pants...well just get some black flats. Psh.

I'm hoping the boot cloud floats on soon. I'll hit the next big thing. Unless it's already around...then I've missed it again.

Ryan said...

OH BOOTS. BOOTS BOOTS BOOTS. A few years ago I made Cam promise me that she would never ever wear boots (especially what I termed "hooker boots" (sorry if that's offensive)). However, the trends took over, and they're everywhere.

And shoulderpads? Bring 'em back.

Steph said...

HAHAHA you are so cute! And I'm not offended by your rant on boots. It's so true. I've had some boots for a few years (got my first ever pair back in Utah) but now I have about 4 or 5 pairs and I love them. Of course I wear them with skinny jeans :) Sometimes with skirts. I just like that they keep me warm in the winter and I can wear them with wool socks. But I've never lookwed at boots as a must have for the closet... now a nice pair of pumps... that's a different story ;)

Lori said...

You're so right about boots requiring entire outfits to go with them. They can definitely be worth the effort if done right though. Your boots are intense and I approve of them immensely.

2DollarBill said...

Yesterday Justin and Alicia came over. Alicia was wearing boots. Every time I looked at her feet I thought about this blog. Not that I think she was necessarily trying to be grouply unique, but I'm not sure I will ever look at boots the same way again after this blog.