Monday, February 6, 2012

My Morning


Note: After reading the following story (which, by the way, is a pretty typical one for me lately), you might be tempted to jump right onto the judging wagon and think it’s shameful or unfortunate that I’m adding another little life to the world when clearly I can’t handle the ones I’ve got. If you are, please go read someone else's blog about how perfect and adorable and angelic their children are instead. What I know with certainty is that this is the right time and the right place for me to be having another little baby, and that being a good mom to multiple kids is just really hard work and often embarrassing. I also know that I might not take my kids out in public ever again. At least until they are in their 20's.


It starts out innocently enough with a trip to Target. Things start to get a little restless when I am on the phone with my sis-in-law and stop paying as much attention to the boys. Bennett starts progressively getting whinier. Then he’s crying and I notice that he has wedged both of his legs and himself all the way up to his tummy into one of the shopping cart footholes. It gets the attention of two different ladies, and all three of us perform the not-so-delicate maneuver of trying to pull him up out of the hole without injuring his tummy all while he’s crying desperately.

He seems happier after being unstuck, and even flashes a smile at the helpful ladies as we walk away (this surprises me because lately it’s been impossible to predict what he will do in any given situation). Bennett expresses concern, however, that we are headed outside and might be going home, so I tell him we will go to the park. Heck, the kids are, all things considered, in good moods, and now that the shopping cart incident is over, it’s no biggie. Bring it on, world; it isn’t even lunchtime yet.

We arrive at the park, a new one we haven’t been to before, and to my chagrin, I soon realize it’s one of those bathroomless parks. Who designs these wastes of space? I also notice that the park is packed. Packed packed packed with people, a lot of them elderly Asian people socializing as well as plenty of children. It’s also a big park with lots of different play equipment parts so immediately it’s difficult to keep track of both of my kids at once.

Bennett and I head over to the swings and I’m about to put him in when a lady rushes over to pick him up and put him in instead. I indicate that I’m just fine putting him in myself, but she insists. Then when I’m about to start pushing him, another, older Asian lady rushes over to push him. “No, no, no,” she says when I imply that I’m perfectly capable of pushing a two-year old in a swing. I mean, I know I’m 8 months pregnant, but Bennett isn’t exactly a tank. She pushes him for a while and I try to figure out when I can run over to check on Joshy on the big kid playground equipment since this perfect stranger is pushing my child in the swing and I’m standing there kind of uselessly. I know Joshy’s up there somewhere but there’s so many kids it’s hard to tell. Finally I spot him and call out his name and wave to him until he sees me.

We play there for a while, and I start really, really needing the restroom. I’m at the point these days that I need to go about once an hour, and more often than that if I’m walking around a lot. I tell Joshy we’re going to have to go pretty soon and he says he needs the restroom too. Fast forward a couple of minutes: I’ve warned the boys that we need to go and I’m trying to get them rounded up to get them out of there but neither of them wants to leave. I’m helping Bennett on a last climbing excursion on the equipment when suddenly I hear,

“Moooooom! I pooped my pants!”

Yes, that voice belongs to someone who belongs to me. I desperately begin to search around for him. I find him, and realize that he is on the top of the big kid playground equipment …. AND HE HAS PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS AND HIS UNDERWEAR.

I’m shocked beyond belief and by this time plenty of people are looking at us. I try to get him to come down, but he utterly refuses, continuing to run along above my head. People around me are gasping.

So I start climbing one of the ladders to get up to reach him. More shocked gasps. Even some yelled ‘NO!’s as the people around me realize that not only do I want to push my own baby on the swings, but I also *gasp* climb onto the playground equipment with my big ol’ pregnant belly! Amidst disapproving protests, I climb up to the top, where I find Joshy who has run away from me and finally pulled his pants back up. I explain to him in a confidential tone that we don’t pull our pants down in public and try to convince him to get down so we can go home.

At this point a construction worker/maintenance looking guy in a vest comes over to the play equipment and asks me if everything is okay. “I saw you on your way up to the top and saw him with his pants down and I wanted to make sure things were all right, you know?” This embarrasses me and creeps me out at the same time and I just want to get out of there.

At some point during all this, Joshy finally runs off in the direction of the car which is a little further than I am comfortable with but now I have to get Bennett so we can go after him.

Bennett utterly refuses to acknowledge that yes, the time has come to leave the park. He starts screaming and runs away from me. I balance my time between trying to pick up his cavorting, writhing, violently thrashing little body and trying to keep track of where Joshy has gone. Finally I get a good grip on Bennett (who is screaming at the top of his lungs and doing his best to make it impossible for me to hold him) by tucking one arm around him and carrying him on my side. I take off after Joshy who is hiding behind a tree somewhere across the grass by our parked car.

Bennett refuses to let up, but finally I manage to land him in the car and close the door behind him (automatic locks would be so nice, by the way) so he can’t run into the street. Joshy is still refusing to get anywhere near me until somebody kindly asks him how fast he can run to his mommy and he runs toward me.

Both kids are now in the car and the only way I get them buckled in is by giving them fruit snacks.


I wonder what all those nice old ladies are saying about me back at the park.

16 comments:

Camilla said...

I can't imagine anyone would come to the conclusion that your children's antics are your fault in any way. They're just being kids, and if they're hanging out at a park, these adults should know by now what crazy things kids can get up to. Please stop worrying that people are judging you for wacky kid-ness! I have seen kids act just like this in all sorts of public places (Tayson, Shelley's 2nd boy) pulls his pants down and pees EVERYWHERE despite all of her attempts to get him to stop. People understand. And I'm sure your state of pregnancy brings only sympathy for how hard it must be for you, not anger that you dare to bring another child into the world. Honestly, Adele, I think people understand more than you fear.

That being said, you probably don't want me lecturing you on your trials. They are YOUR trials, after all :) Please don't be mad. I just think that you're doing an amazing job with those crazy, rascally, beautiful boys and anyone who says differently (but remember, NO ONE is) should go jump in a lake. I, for one, am so glad YOU are bringing another bouncing baby boy into this world. Even if you don't feel like it, YOU are a super mom. I love you!

The Gilberts said...

Adele...I commend you. I wouldn't be caught dead at a park whilst pregnant and with two toddlers! If I were one of those women I would be like "way to go mamma! She's got it going on there!" I'm sure someday you will look back at this and laugh your head off...or use it as a story to embarrass your boys when they go on their first dates. :) Ahahahaha.

Curtiss & Ginger said...

Ohhhh my goodness!! Hahaha this made me laugh pretty hard! I can just imagine it all so well :) I think you are amazing and I just know you are a great mother and wife.. All your boys are so lucky to have you! Seriously. Thanks for sharing your adventurous day :) hopefully things "calm" down a bit for you this next month so you don't go into early labor! :)

Meredith Williams said...

Hahaha!! You write in such a good way that I can totally Imagine all that is going on! I loved it. You are super mom for sure.....li mean target and then park plus 8 months pregnant. That's super mom for sure

Lizzy said...

Oh WOW, what a day at the park! I hope those boys got a good talking to! Never any judging, I think you're an amazing Mom!

K.E.N said...

Oh man, that would TOTALLY happen to me and, no way would I judge you...I'm sure people are judging me all the time when I'm out with my kids and my 6 month belly.
BUT, what I want to know is, where were those uber helpful ladies when you could have used them? Sheesh! They are willing to put your kid in the swing and even push him, but the minute it comes to a situation that you could really have used someone else to help you corner the pooper stinker, no one is around. I think you are an exceptional mother and I think your kids are going to be exceptional people.

Hannah Beth said...

Gotta admit. I giggled while reading almost the whole story. I love your storytelling capabilities. If that situation happened to me in the future, I'm sure I'd be mortified and would not be able to talk about it with your spin for quite a while. You go, Adele!

Steph said...

Oh my gosh, what a day! I'm totally not judging - I actually think you're amazing for handling it so well! I only wonder what it will be when I try to take my kids to the park someday...

Linda said...

Hang in there. This too shall pass. You have my vote on being one of the bravest, most loving, most patient, caring mothers on the planet. That is way more important than being some high powered CEO woman with a bunch of initials after her name, who would not want to be a mother herself and who doesn't understand that it's mothers like you whose children turn into the great leaders of the future. I'll say it again; KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Ben and Summer said...

Oh Adele, you are so great. I'm so glad you wrote this down so you can laugh about it later. I wonder if there's a Mom of 2 kids out there who doesn't have a very similar story (more like lots of stories). I know I do! Anymore, when I see things like that happen to other people, I have to laugh sympathetically, even though I know they're probably the furthest things from laughing, only because I have TOTALLY been there! Little stinkers - gotta love them and their poopy timing!

Lori said...

Oh adele, you make me smile. I'm sorry it was such a rough day at the park. Those ladies were all just thinking that you were a good mom to bring your kids to the park when you are so pregnanty and they are also remembering times in their own lives when their kids have horribly embarrassed them.

Ryan said...

That was a really funny post (though it probably wasn't funny to you at the time). Maybe you should just drop the boys off at the park and ask all those ladies to babysit when you go get a massage or something. They sounded so helpful, so maybe try that out and see what happens??

Trent and Meg said...

Oh Adele--you are a wonderful mom that really, considering all things, handled it all so gracefully!! I seriously (and I truly mean this!)hope to be half the mom you are when they start coming our way :D Hugs to you! You will be a fabulous mom of 3--I just know it :D

Jenny said...

Oh Adele! I feel your pain. We've all had hard days like that and it's hard to look on the bright side. Thanks for sharing your mothering trials with us, and just know you aren't alone. I should know ;). Take care and best wishes for you and baby boy coming soon!

Dahlia said...

I hear you mama.
Last time we went to the park I stood beside a tree hiding Belle(5 yr old I babysit)while she peed behind the tree, and on her pants. All while Claytin was running around without a thought in the world whacking anything he could think of with a random tree branch he found!
Perhaps baby 3 will give you a break and be super easy? It could happen. Anyway, You are amazing. Keep up the great work!

Klaudia said...

I thought your children were angels. Thanks for the laugh. Life does go on, just think you have a story to tell later in life. The parks are quite different here. One day you will look back and miss all your adventures!!!
You are an amazing, brave woman. Now what? with 3 children!!!