Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Dear ER Lady,

I am so sorry I snapped at you. I am so sorry I made your day that much harder. I know you spend your day doing your best to save people's lives.

I have no excuse for being rude to you. I guess wondering all night if my baby was going to stop breathing, then the next day hauling three little boys to the pediatrician, followed by the x-ray clinic, followed by the mall to wait where my three-year old had to pee every few minutes because he drank so much lemonade and I changed a poopy diaper in the car in the heat and my kids fought with each other and I yelled at them, followed by the x-ray clinic again where my three-year old peed behind a bush, followed by the ER where Josh met me and a doctor who told us we had the wrong x-ray, followed by the ER at a different hospital where we had another x-ray, and being told they might have to put the baby under and try to extract a peanut shell from his bronchus was a bit much for me.

Or maybe it was how I felt when we were told we could just go home because although the first x-ray had supposedly shown signs of pneumonia in one lung to the radiologist, it looked just fine to this doctor, and the second x-ray looked just fine too, and the baby's breathing sounded just fine to both doctors at the ER, and I guess it was all just a silly little mistake which we might get a few silly little bills for.

Or maybe it was the reminder that doctors really are just guessing at things, like the rest of us are, and the only sure way of knowing at this point if my baby has something lodged in his lung would be to put him under general anesthesia and look down his throat, and we didn't want to do that, but I wasn't sure if we were making the right decision because his breathing still sounded wrong to me. Maybe that's what did it for me.

Whatever it was, my un-napped, trooper of a baby was doing his best to occupy himself while we waited for the "necessary paperwork" to arrive so we could finally just leave, and we waited, and we waited, and we waited, and he was playing with some medical equipment, and then you came into the picture. When you suggested it might be better if he didn't play with the medical equipment, I snapped at you.

Forgive me. No matter what, there is no excuse for being rude. I think it must be a rough job, a thankless job at times, to work in the ER. I know it was very busy there yesterday, as you mentioned. You are a decent human being, doing what you do every single day. I could never do it.

I wish I could go back and give you a hug.


A frustrated, very apologetic mommy

 the moon on my walk while Josh put the kids to bed


Allison said...

Poor baby. ER visits are stressful no matter what. I have had to apologize MANY times to the sweet nurses and medical personnel who are taking care of my kid. They see parents under stressful times and hopefully understand that when we snap. Maybe you could take some crayons, coloring books, or small toys to the ER so that they have something to give to other patients in similar circumstances in the future. Don't be too hard on yourself. You were doing the best you could at that moment. I hope his breathing improves without having to scope him!

merrilykaroly said...

I thought of you, Allison, as I typed this up. I can't imagine how you have braved so much with your sweet little Grant. It is such a pain to do it even for one day :(

Lori said...

Oh the sadness. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm super glad that it wasn't something more serious but I'm sorry you had all of the worry, hassle, and bills all the same.

Betsy (Eco-novice) said...

Oh, Adele, that sounds so awful. I hope he is doing better now.

Linda said...

I think "you did well on that lesson". Don't beat yourself up.

I'm waiting to hear how our sweet little Lincoln is doing. And you and JS too!

Steph said...

Wow. I can't even imagine going through a day like that! I'm glad that everything is ok for right now and I hope that everything gets better!

michele said...

What a nightmare! I would have snapped too. More than once. You are a strong mom, Adele.